My home! Where I sleep, where I come to play with my toys!


So the police called me at work this morning, and get this: some little dipshit broke into my house.  He used a kitchen knife to cut a screen on a window facing the back yard, and climbed in through the opening.  Then he bundled up my XBox 360 and a stack of 13 games and two controllers and some cables (neatly disconnected from the media cabinet, might I add, which is no small feat to accomplish without breaking things).  He stuffed them all into a backpack, wrapped that in a curtain (why?), and went into the back yard, where he was met by cops who had been called by a suspicious and watchful neighbor a few houses down.  They tried to tase him – didn’t connect.  He ran around with officers in pursuit (in what I assume was a comical manner, soundtracked by “Yakety Sax”; I suppose there were quality bosoms and chippies in their knickers involved).  Then he was clonked over the head or something and taken into custody.  My XBox and accoutrements were abandoned mid-chase in the back yard, so I recovered everything taken and it still works and all.

To merge this with the usual subject matter of this blog – why just the XBox?  Does he have no taste?  I have racks of DVDs that are light, smallish, and representative of someone with excellent taste in genre fare.  I have hordes of CDs and LPs from a broad cross-section of styles, some of which are rare and valuable.  I have an iPod.  Has this dude no aspirations of self-enrichment?  Does he just want to game his life away when he could instead be listening to the out-of-print Sonny Stitt twofer “Tune-Up/Constellation” (excellent altoman!) and watching the obscure-but-great spaghetti Western “A Bullet for the General”?

Kids.  Feh.


5 Responses to My home! Where I sleep, where I come to play with my toys!

  1. Ryan says:

    He already had those selections at home, I’m sure. Glad to hear you’re not out some stuff, though.

  2. Thanks, Mr. Butcher. I was especially pleased that the box still fired up, once I got it reconnected – I mean surely the drop to the ground while the guy was doing a Matrix-style taser dodge was not a gentle one, and XBox 360s are notorious for breaking when you so much as look at them funny.

  3. Ryan says:

    Thankfully he was dropping it and not looking at it funny.

  4. themcp says:

    this is the third yackity sax reference i’ve heard in as many weeks. wtf is the big wheel up to?

    good luck for you that is was a dumb punk amateur unable to seal the deal.

    if i ever break into your house, i’m going to take a couple of those cats because i’m pretty sure it will take you at least a week to notice the miscount.

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