The Onion today has a slight little piece on names for imaginary bands. This has long been a source of much amusement to me – thinking up stupid names for bands I will never start. Mind you, I’ve had plenty of bands and solo projects with plenty of different, retarded names. So it’s quite a challenge for me to think up a band name so very, deliciously awful that even I won’t actually use it.
I keep a document on my PC full of these things. I haven’t updated it lately, but it still makes me chuckle when I think of the very dumbest entries on it. So in lieu of a real Friday blog – here’s the worst parts of my list. Again I emphasize: none of these are real. If you have a band in need of an awful name, help yourself.
Albert and the Admirable Admirals
(All You Can Eat for) Six Dollars
Attack on: Carrots
Bad Smell Factory
Beatrice Von Toad-Licke
Brung You a Chunk
Chipper Hippo and Also Here Comes a Woody [note: trying too hard?]
the Edible Galoots
Fish Components Slowly Approaching
46 Ways to Skiffle (Jr.)
the Fragrant Ass Sweats
Fur, Crying Out Loud
Glenn Danzig’s Swingin’ Hepcats
Happy Pee Receptacle
Here Comes Daddy’s Thingy
the Insaniacs [note: sadly, I have to admit that I actually made this into a band and released two CDs under the name]
Kant’s Kategorikal Imperative… to Rock!
Koke Addikt [note: apparently Ks are funny]
Lepers and Leprechauns
Mr. Fecal Smudgley and his Forty-Eight Thousand, Five Hundred Thirty-Six Bacteria
Mr. Sticky and his Five Warm Fingers
Oh God, it Smells
Pasta 4 Dat Ass
Pinkeye McDingleberry and the Shingles
the Rabid Rabbit Splatters [note: I thought this was funny at the time; now I actually kind of like it]
Spies in the House of Rock!
the Third White Meat
Those About to Rock
Wan and Bedeviled
Warm Wishes for Yogurt
Will You Deliver This Prophetic Pizza?
You’ll Pay Me a Dollar Fifty, Bill