Octopi, Jeebus


I am a big fan of the talks they post on TED.com, and here’s a shining example: 5 minutes of a guy showing us some amazing oceanic lifeforms

You’d think the comment thread for this talk would be mostly people saying, “Wow!” and “Holy crap!”  But no, Diane: this is the internets!  And here on the ‘nets, we like to argue about the same four things over and over.  These things are (in no particular order): global climate change, the existence of god, illegal immigration, and which gaming console offers the best graphics and game library for the money.* 

In this case, we’re up to the second batter in our rotation.  Here are two choice samples:

“These creatures have an intelligent designer. This is obvious. It also is not surprising that there are those who do not give GOD credit for anything. Sad for them.”

“I personally feel very sorry for those who think there is no God. In perspective, this may be what wrong with our world today. No belief in anything leaves the soul empty. I will pray for you.”

(In perspective..?  I will pray to understand what the fuck you are talking about.)

I’d like to ask a simple question of these two commenters, which is this: did you not notice from the talk – which is only a few minutes long and has no complicated scientific terminology to confuse you – that almost all of the neat behavior on display is intended to either help the animal kill some other animal, or to help prevent some other animal from killing it?  So let me see if I got this right: your benevolent intelligent designer (a.k.a. god) gave these creatures some really beautiful and complicated features like bioluminescence and camoflage – so they can get along for a few terrifying days longer in a world where animals attack and eat each other in a perpetual undersea bloodbath?  God isn’t a gentle artist; he’s a sadist with a giant Warhammer 40K set where all the pewter figurines have nerve endings and are rent to pieces on a regular basis.  Neat.

* Real, not real, a source of real delicious tacos (zing!), and I wouldn’t dare to offer an opinion on an issue THAT controversial… really.


3 Responses to Octopi, Jeebus

  1. beetqueen says:

    Wow, your life is really empty without God, isn’t it? Don’t worry, I will pray for you.

  2. Ryan says:

    I thought maybe you were going to offer words and information on the savior of the octopi.

    I am disappointed.

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