Wellsy wellsy well. Diane, I was en route to writing entry #4 in my campaign against a perfectly innocent and not all that horrible advice columnist, when he surprised me by writing this. It’s succinct, it’s good advice, it doesn’t meander down paths of philosophy and self-discovery, and it’s not broken down into fifteen thousand four-word sentences. In short: I won.
There are two possibilities here: my (secret, unannounced) campaign (against a guy who doesn’t know I exist, waged on a blog no one but my immediate circle of friends visits) was so effective that it took only three days to break his spirit and force him to become the blandly predictable functionary I wanted him to be all along. Or, Cary was just phoning this one in, because dammit, he’s got a book to promote.
Either way, I’m calling this one a victory. I can now move on to more important things, like calling Rockstar every afternoon and asking them to send me a pre-release copy of GTA4, or fighting panda squirrels in the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field. Onward to further triumph!