No time for niceties, Diane – it’s right to the Halloween content.
1. YouTube’s own Ronald Jenkees has done a Dirty South-style remix of the theme from Halloween. I give up, Ronald – I’m in love with you. You can download the mp3 for free here. All this needs to be perfect is Big Boi talking about face babies and Andre 3000 singing in a funny voice.
(And just for the hell of it, and for you YouTube noobs out there, here is Mr. Jenkees’ best work. I say this without cynicism: that beat is sick. They should re-release GTA: San Andreas just to put this on the soundtrack. They should reform Roger & Zapp and let them work their vocoder magic over that song. Snoop Dogg should release a new album where every song is based on that beat.)
2. I finally saw “Black Sheep” the other day. To paraphrase Kent Brockman – I’ve seen “Halloween,” “Evil Dead,” and “The Exorcist,” and this movie is a million times scarier than all of them put together. Hahanotreally. But it is a pretty incredible 90 minute thrill ride with many things in it that will make you laugh, cringe, or both at once. There are killer sheep, yes, but the movie goes well beyond that one-joke premise and also gives you:
– Human/sheep mating rituals
– Incredible jumping sheep
It also has surprisingly excellent cinematography and direction, great effects provided by Peter Jackson’s WETA, and decent acting for the genre. (The vegetarian/animal rights girl isn’t much of an actor, but she is really adorable.) So do your soul a favor and see this movie. I guarantee that from the moment you do, you’ll never see a movie murder again without thinking, “This would be funnier if there was a sheep noise right when that guy’s artery burst open.”
3. If you aren’t watching “Reaper” – the CW’s unofficial remake of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” – give it a try. It’s a pretty shallow show but the lead actor is appealing, Ray Wise is great as the Devil, and Jack Black-ish sidekick “Sock” is good for several big laughs an episode. I think the show is just finding its feet and breaking away from the repetition of the first few episodes. Hopefully it will stick around long enough to go somewhere interesting. This week’s Halloween-themed episode was very entertaining, despite the dodgy CGI in a couple scenes; and it’s just good to see Leland Palmer back in action – though frankly he was more frightening as Mr. Palmer than he is as Satan. Which is a bit odd.
4. Tonight’s the big night. I’ve had a strong run, watching several horror movies (a couple new, and a couple old favorites) and making some seasonal desserts of the extremely fattening variety. But it all comes down to this. This is the Super Bowl of October. This is what you play the regular season for.
So what are we going to do to make this evening a success? I can’t say for sure – I like my gameplan to be a surprise. But there’s no question it’s going to involve a horror movie or two. One of the big boys. You can’t take chances with a special occasion like this.
Here’s my recommended list of Halloween movies. There are many good horror films, but these are the ones you can safely watch on Halloween itself and not feel like you’ve wasted an opportunity.
a. “Re-animator.” The queen mother of gore-drenched black comedy.
b. “The Exorcist.” Stands as the most disturbing horror movie of all time, almost three decades and hundreds of horror movies later.
c. “The Haunting” (original version). The best haunted house movie ever.
d. “The Innocents.” The only haunted house movie I consider to be almost as good as “The Haunting.”
e. “Night of the Living Dead.” They’re coming to get you, Barbara…
f. “Halloween.” Duh.
Good night, you princes of maim, you sons of Satan. And you too, Diane.