Idea: Posts don’t always have to begin with “Diane,”.
Idea: Memes are approaching an infinity point which is also a singularity (in the astrophysical rather than mathematical sense). LOLcats are not this point but may be the penultimate one.
Idea: The worst of everything is actually the best of everything. Primitive and found art is better than Rembrandt. A slice of American cheese product is better than anything involving a “reduction.” Jerry Springer (does he still have a show..?) is better than “Twin Peaks.” Art and culture are moebius strips.
Idea: Top four hundred albums from any genre of music. Exclude all albums my girlfriend likes in order to start an argument. Exacerbate this argument by pointing out that iceberg lettuce is awesome and asparagus sucks. When we break up, insist that she keep our cat “Fiver” as he seems to love her best (read: has a creepy fixation on her that may qualify as pathological and will almost certainly end in both of their deaths). Enjoy many well-rested nights while Nancee sleeps naught and longs for my company. Eventually force her to put Fiver out and stop eating asparagus to take me back. Get myself a t-shirt made that has a picture of me on the front and says “WIN” on the back.
Idea: Grand Theft Auto as the uber-video game. It encompasses all other games, and those it does not encompass were rejected as bacteria would be from a healthy host body with a kickin’ immune system.
Idea: Review my friends as if they were books I read or movies I watched. Start with W.
Refinement: Review my friends as if they were some particular kind of art, and explain which one & why. W. is a long-running syndicated series like “Married: With Children,” and his life is similarly unfunny and depressing. J. is an avant garde soundtrack to a film that was never released: smart (maybe too smart), loud (maybe too loud), non-sequiturious (that’s not a word), huge pizza aficianado (no idea).
Idea: In-depth analysis of the career of Andre 3000. Make a case for his (to me, axiomatic) status as the greatest genius in any field of endeavor for the last 50 years.
Idea: The re-creative impulse in art. Explain why it is best that the movie version of “The Two Towers” featured a borderline-unrecognizable Faramir, why the Supersuckers’ cover of “Hey Ya” is as good as OutKast’s (Andre 3000 genius notwithstanding), why abridgements and translations and non-authorial edits often result in more readable works, and why the Cliffs Notes version of “Les Miserables” is more successful on both an artistic and communicative level than the book is. Hide from my social circle for two weeks.
Idea: We are frittering away our lives. Is it possible to acknowledge this without passing judgement on it? Further, does inherent meaninglessness excuse one from the search for meaning? Is contentment or growth the higher value?
Idea: Click the Publish button. We’re done here, Diane.